The 10 Dumbest Products Marketed to Women


The Pink Tablet

Eurostar's ePad Femme comes conveniently preloaded with apps for all the things women like to do—grocery shopping, cooking and losing weight. The latest addition to the classic pink tech collection, which also features stylish pink computers and must-have pink bejeweled ethernet cables.


The Pink Gun

Many styles, from pistols to rifles. For women who are serious about pink self-defense, but find pink mace and pink knives and pink mace shaped like guns to be insufficiently lethal. Also, pick up a pink camouflage hat, so you can blend right into a sea of cotton candy.


The Gas Mask Bra

The Emergency Bra is the perfect add-on for the pink-gun-toting survivalist. This sexy lingerie converts to not one but two gas masks, so you can protect yourself—and a friend!—during your next neighborhood biochemical attack.


The Pink Car

With the (awkwardly named) Honda Fit She's, you can easily alert all other nearby drivers that this car—with a special anti-aging ventilation system—is being operated by a woman driver. Because you are probably too busy putting on pink makeup or brushing your hair with a pink hairbrush or checking your face for wrinkles in the mirror to look at the road.


The Pink Portable Urinating Device

Go Girl is the miniature toilet you can take anywhere. Good for long road trips in pink cars.


Pens ‘for Her’

Yes, it's the notorious Bic for Her pens. Because women's hands are too dainty for regular pens. Good for marking up your French copy of "Macs for Dummies. Women's edition."


Breast-Enhancing Gum

Get "fuller, firmer breasts" by chewing gum! Or, if you're feeling peckish, try F-Cup breast-enhancing cookies. Worried such products will throw your body out of proportion? Enhance your ass, too, with "Booty Pop" padded panties. Giant lollipop not included.


The Breast Pillow

Don't age with dignity. Fight sagging and wrinkles with the Kush Breast Support device. Also—pink earplugs make for a more fully vain sleeping experience. And with the half-a-boyfriend pillow, you'll never need to worry about your sleeping partner judging you.


The Anti-Wrinkle Face Belt

This Hannibal Lecter-inspired piece is the easy and stylish way to sharpen your too-round cheeks and facial contours. Pair with the Neck Genie double-chin eraser for a comprehensive angle-perfecting solution. For that extra Stepford Wife edge, enhance your mouth and jaw muscles with the Happy Smile Trainer.


Pink Labia Dye

My New Pink Button. For redesign jobs that good old pubic-hair dye just can't handle.