Twitter is the worst. We would give that title to LinkedIn, but apparently some people enjoy perusing the content marketing, aka fancy spam.
It’s still a pretty decent place to follow breaking/developing news if you know how to cultivate your feed (which takes way too much time and effort). And then some rare people who are not us succeed in the making of the jokes. But most of what you’ll see during any given Twitter session is a disorienting mix of self-promotion and political screeds. And there are nowhere near six degrees of separation between the #content you want and the neo-Nazi cheering section.
We mention this because, after a while, certain accounts and their tweets really start to blur together. Especially if they come from marketing thought leaders.
Let’s take two of our faves, Jordan Zimmerman and Gary Vaynerchuk. These two guys have a good bit in common: they both run successful agencies, they are both fond of athletic contests, and they both sell themselves as brands above and beyond their main businesses and/or hustles. The key angle in both cases is RAW AUTHENTIC TAKES and words of inspiration shared with hundreds of thousands of followers every day.
They say what they think and they mean what they say and they will never, ever apologize. Kinda like our president!
On that note, here are a bunch of recent, randomly organized messages from the two current kings of agency thought leadership along with others from a parody account called MadAveTrump that applies The Donald’s famously all-over-the-place personality to the ad industry.
Now, without cheating, let’s see how many you can guess. Who tweeted the following: Gary V, Jordan Z, or Madison Avenue POTUS?
1. Life isn’t fair. So what?
2. 1000-1 … no problem
3. When THE BOSS is ON VACATION you still have to deal with my TWEETS because I DO NOT STOP EVER and NEITHER WILL YOU!!
4. Do whatever it takes.
5. You’ll never get where you’re going if you don’t know where you’re going.
6. Shook things up to get more New Yorkers running the show. And who doesn’t like New Yorkers?
7. It’s time to pitch to win. No more pitching to lose like our last chief!
8. Once you accept … everything is your fault. life becomes a lot more fun and you achieve a lot more
9. Program your brain to shut out the negative noise. I don’t listen to naysayers, and neither should you….
10. I stood in front of our chairman, the former CEO, and said it was the best eclipse ever. My exec assistant laughed. It was hilarious.
11. Do that! … whatever that was that just passed through your mind! Go ..
12. Got terrific RFPs in today. NYC HQ packed tonight. LABOR DAY is for hustlers.
13. Heartache & discontent come along in life most often because it’s easier to be the one life happens to than the one who makes life happpen….
14. Our TX office wanted less top-heavy mgmt structure. Now they’re not so sure. But you will always need your CEO!
15. You’re Gonna Die- so do something about it
Were those as confusing for you as they were for us? In all honesty, while writing this dumb post we challenged each other to figure out who sent which tweet and often got it wrong!
Here are the answers:
1. Jordan
Life isn’t fair. So what?
— Jordan Zimmerman (@JZspeaks) September 3, 2017
2. Gary
1000-1 … no problem
— Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) September 5, 2017
3. Trump
When THE BOSS is ON VACATION you still have to deal with my TWEETS because I DO NOT STOP EVER and NEITHER WILL YOU #MakeAdsGreatAgain
— MadAveTrump (@MadAveTrump) August 7, 2017
4. Jordan
Do whatever it takes.
— Jordan Zimmerman (@JZspeaks) September 5, 2017
5. Jordan
You’ll never get where you’re going if you don’t know where you’re going.
— Jordan Zimmerman (@JZspeaks) September 1, 2017
6. Trump
Shook things up to get more New Yorkers running the show. And who doesn’t like New Yorkers?
— MadAveTrump (@MadAveTrump) July 29, 2017
7. Trump
It’s time to pitch to win. No more pitching to lose like our last chief! LOSER! #maga #MakeAdsGreatAgain
— MadAveTrump (@MadAveTrump) August 22, 2017
8. Gary
Once you accept … everything is your fault. life becomes a lot more fun and you achieve a lot more pic.twitter.com/dXaoSOlvxM
— Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) September 2, 2017
9. Jordan
Program your brain to shut out the negative noise. I don’t listen to naysayers, and neither should you….
— Jordan Zimmerman (@JZspeaks) May 8, 2017
10. Trump
I stood in front of our chairman, the former CEO, and said it was the best eclipse ever. My exec assistant laughed. It was hilarious.
— MadAveTrump (@MadAveTrump) August 24, 2017
11. Gary
Do that! … whatever that was that just passed through your mind! Go ..
— Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) July 14, 2017
12. Trump
Got terrific RFPs in today. NYC HQ packed tonight. LABOR DAY is for hustlers. I think @garyvee said that. LOVE him. Be like GV & me! #MAGA
— MadAveTrump (@MadAveTrump) September 2, 2017
13. Jordan
Heartache & discontent come along in life most often because it’s easier to be the one life happens to than the one who makes life happpen….
— Jordan Zimmerman (@JZspeaks) September 2, 2017
14. Trump
Our TX office wanted less top-heavy mgmt structure. Now they’re not so sure. But you will always need your CEO! #MAGA #MakeAdsGreatAgain
— MadAveTrump (@MadAveTrump) August 29, 2017
15. Gary
You’re Gonna Die- so do something about it https://t.co/MCmuLe5sGY
— Gary Vaynerchuk (@garyvee) September 6, 2017
OK, maybe the Trump ones were a little more obvious than the others. And maybe the idea for this post came when that account (created by some brave, anonymous commenter) started trying to get our attention.
STOP LEAKING EVERYTHING TO @AgencySpy!!!
— MadAveTrump (@MadAveTrump) July 27, 2017
You should see what we did to AGENCYSPY leakers when caught. There were no more leaks for 3.5 days! #maga #MakeAdsGreatAgain @PatrickCoffee
— MadAveTrump (@MadAveTrump) August 17, 2017
But we still had at least 20 minutes of fun at work while poring through these messages, and we didn’t even go back very far!! The exercise made us think we all get the world we deserve, collectively speaking. Like in the socialist way that all three of these guys would hate.
Oh also, the replies to these tweets are sometimes the best part if you want to feel especially useless. Your turn, Tom Goodwin.