Some knucklehead or heads keep sending us a link to Upskirt At Work with personalized notes. The link is really just a front for various porn sites such as PornTube (the destination link changes every time you click) and a way of pointing out to us how much these dudes want to bone their female co-worker.
Look, I dig Porntube. It’s never been easier for me to get an instna-fantasy delivered to my libido courtesy of millions of users. However, forget the looking up the skirt at work, catching some thigh even. I’d like to see some big fat erections. Can you guys do that for me? I want to catch that hot CD at JWT I met… Oh, even that super cutie over at The Happy Corp or, fuuuckkk that dude who works at Saatchi? Yeah. I want to catch an eyeful of some firm workout’d abs when they least expect it. A bulge in the pants when they don’t mean it. Lick. Those. Lips.
I have needs. I have desires. And if you guys get to shove your sexuality all over us chicks in the workspace, throw them all over us like you haven’t spent 30 odd years dealing with your penis’, then hell yes, I’m going to as well. Who cares about decorum or self respect or respect of others? Let’s see some cock! Hot cock! I’m going to find the first junior employee that I can and comment on how nice his jeans fit or better yet, tell him my own sexual fantasies and see if he bites. Yes, he probably will, but the power I exert in doing it, in making him feel uncomfortable for a brief moment, small, at jeopardy for his job (that brief sweet vengeful second), will be some sort of justice for all the ad guys who have come onto me and the chicks I know or don’t even know in the work environment. I want to see his face go ashen. I want him to offer an idea about this latest RFP so I can turn to him and say, “Women must love you. Your ass is fantastic. Turn around? Just what I thought. So tight. Now forget about the RFP. I’ve already got Carol and Jen working on it.” I want one of you males to experience this. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.
Not all men are like these shits. True, true… but to the ones who are? Fuck you. Lets turn the table. There’s no better way to learn a valuable lesson than to experience it. Now, where is that hot body’s number over at Droga. Yeah, you know who I’m talking about.