Tonight: Draper’s Finale

By Matt Van Hoven 

At 10 p.m. EST tonight we’ll witness the last episode of AMC’s ‘Mad Men’ for like, awhile. The actual details of the show are rarely discussed here on the old Agency Spies, and we aim to keep it that way. Needless to say, here’s some guesses at what you might see.

&#151 Betty clinging to all things holy, wholesome and reminiscent of her picket-fenced-yet-seemingly-traumatizing childhood by always driving her dead father’s Lincoln Continental. That car represents all things depressing, dun’nt? She yearns for the time before she was cheated on by a man who wasn’t named Don Draper, but who was Don Draper and so then she cheated on him a number of times in rebellion and now she might leave him for this government guy.

&#151 Don’s ever mothy anti-grin. His mug looks like a caricature of itself, like a cop drawn for a ‘Ren & Stimpy’ close up. Yeah, unravel that one, between trying to figure out if Don is constipated or having a heart attack. Or in a meeting.

&#151 Children: seen but not heard. Always the opposite of comforting. Kids don’t belong in Mad Men World, and their presence exacerbates that point.

&#151 Peggy and Duck naked, which is the last thing anyone wants to see, really.

&#151 Pete Campbell wants to have what Don has, and I think that’s why we see so many of his faces &#151 like with Draper. Campbell’s taciturn, wry demure will be replaced at least once with the unhinged punim of the rebel-boy that stirs within him. You’ll know you’re dealing with baby-Don when strands of hair fall across his forehead.

&#151 Can we please get some love for Joan? Yes, she aided in the destruction of a marriage. But if there is a character on this program who deserves a moment of happiness, it’s her. Maybe because her character rocks or because she seems worldly and who wouldn’t want her to succeed? Today will probably suck for her somehow, because she least deserves it.

Though we could make random assessments about what’ll happen tonight all day, we’re done here. Enjoy the show, and the fact that you’ll only have to deal with one more recap on ‘The Week in Advertising’. Until tomorrow.

Image via WhatBettyDraperWore

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