The wait is over. No longer does the sports community at large have to pretend they care about the MLB or how the United States’ NBA talent does in the FIBA World Championship. Finally, football season is here.
During the NFL’s first weekend of regular season play, we saw a bevy of sloppy games with interesting finishes. Last night, we saw the Dallas Cowboys have a game-winning touchdown called back due to an offensive holding penalty. The confusion and devastation that took place was eerily similar a sure Detroit Lions’ game-winning touchdown ruled incomplete earlier in the day because of the NFL’s less than intuitive definition of what qualified as a “reception.” Finally, we saw famed dog-abuser Michael Vick replace injured Eagles’ starting QB Kevin Kolb to lead the Philadelphia Eagles to a near upset of NFC Champion favorite, the Green Bay Packers. It was a great day for canine negligence, as this spot from Electronic Arts for Madden ’11 would ensure:
Also, we heard from the NFL’s hair spokesperson, Steelers safety Troy Polamalu, who reminded us that Head and Shoulders is responsible for his lustrous hair, again dismissing the influence his Polynesian heritage:
Bonus Fact: Procter & Gamble insured Polamalu’s brunette curls for $1 million last month. Seriously.
Now we move to the two biggest match-ups of the weekend. The first battle for the television “new campaign” trophy saw UPS using arrows and a bouncy little number to explain to its customers what “logistics” is a la “That’s Amore.” Meanwhile, rivals FedEx disguised a businessman as a foreign exchange student overseas. Box Score: A draw. FedEx wins big for simplicity and laughs while UPS’ logistics definition will imminently get obnoxiously stuck in the heads of millions over the course of the season.
Finally, to the beer league: Miller Lite had a time machine, Coors Lite had a space shuttle but Bud Light had “Coach” Carl Weathers encouraging us all to drink at work.
Making Carl Weathers do anything in his ridiculous Happy Gilmore character-type is worthy of an automatic win. So, we congratulate this week’s winners, and until next week, beware of fast food-addicted bears.