OpEd: Will you Guys Hate Brandon Henderson if He Doesn’t Watch the Super Bowl?

By Matt Van Hoven 

Brandon Henderson is a senior copywriter at Young & Rubicam, and against all odds he won’t be watching the Super Bowl this weekend. Shocker! Instead, he’ll feast with his eyes upon fat people losing weight. Eww, that’s nasty. He’ll also be kicking his son in the nads. Ha ha, child abuse. Read on, brothers and sisters.

Here’s the thing, I know it’s Super Sunday and everyone’s going to be watching the newest batch of Super Bowl ads and everything, but I won’t be watching. You see…The Biggest Loser: Couples is on.

And yes, it’s a repeat but look, I love fat people weighing each other.

It’s amazing. There’s just something in watching them take off those giant T-shirts that amazes me. And in HD it’s not to be missed.

Plus, TV ads aren’t cool anymore right?

I’ve read all about it.

I know what you’re saying, you’re saying, “But don’t you want to see a guy kick one of his moocher friends in the balls for stealing one of his beers?”

Let me assure you, if I want to see someone get kicked in the balls I want to do it the cool new way, “experientially,” using my foot and my kid.

And if it makes it cooler, then fine, I’ll do it during the Super Bowl.

Otherwise I might as well be watching ads from 1993 on my old tube television. And I put that television in the trash and someone took it, so that wouldn’t even be possible.

It’s 2010 people. I like my ads on my cell phone and fat people on my TV.

But hey, maybe that’s just me.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to watch these giant people sweat out hot dog water, it’s an elimination night.