Note to Self: Stop Wearing Pink

By Matt Van Hoven 

The douche bag is a man of great prowess, if only in his own mind, and over the last few years he has been maligned by his peers for just being himself. Well, no longer. You see, a ‘douche bag’ is actually a cleansing device, and that’s how douche bags everywhere (ourselves included) want you to think of them. Us. Like mints.

Because at the end of the day aren’t we all coke-snorting, pink-shirt-wearing, breast-grabbing jerk offs? No, no we aren’t, but some of us are. And we must stick together. So, before you click play make sure to pop your collar a little higher and stick your chest out a bit further. But seriously, that coke habit could be bad long term.

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