Let’s Send M. Night Shyamalan Back to Film School

By Bob Marshall 

As the saying goes, “A random twist does not a cohesive plot make.” If motion picture director M. Night Shyamalan had paid any attention during his time attending NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts, he might have realized this.

Okay, finding out Bruce Willis’ character in The Sixth Sense was kind of cool. But, having every single one of your movies end with a dumb, forced twist is just lazy writing. Sick of Night and his crappy movies, a band of anonymous creatives (Publicis Modem SF copywriter Eric Roller, probably Ogilvy NY art director Vanessa Castaneda and maybe SF resident and Wired editor BBDO NY copywriter¬† Chris Baker)¬† have launched the “M. Night School,” with the sole purpose of receiving enough donations to send Mr. Shyamalan back to film school with the hope that he stops sucking so bad. When enough money is raised, the site’s creators will then present a giant check to Shyamalan (filming the whole thing). If the director refuses the money, the donations will then be used to send a lucky budding filmmaker to NYU in his stead.

A small film festival will be held to determine the winner should Shyamalan refuse. A reminder to all of the haters out there: the only Shyamalan-directed film since 1998 to lose money was Lady in the Water, with his most poorly rated film, 2010’s The Last Airbender, grossing $319 million on a $150 million budget. Maybe we should just scold the general public for their horrible taste?