Gavin McInnes Explains Why Old Punks Make Good Dads

Gavin McIness, the Rooster creative director who last November taught us all how to fight a baby, wrote an article explaining ten reasons why old punks make great dads, and it’s pretty convincing.

Among McIness’ arguments are that old punks are used to having roommates who puke on them, don’t mind looking like shit, are never embarrassed, understand insane ideas, and are better able to explain to their kids why drugs are bad: “Pot makes movies funny, but it kills your ambition. One Molly pill makes music better, but you’ll bad-trip when you get older. Adderall is just speed, and we saw what that did to Lemmy. Cocaine won’t kill you, but it will turn you into a paranoid douche. Oh, and don’t pour hard liquor up your ass. It will give you alcohol poisoning.”

McIness also mentions how “slamdancing prepares you for being attacked” by your kids, “skinheads are giant babies,” and the cacophony your children cook up banging on garbage cans and pans doesn’t sound all that different from, say, The Dead Kennedys’ “Government Flu.” He also shares the hilarious and disgusting story of when his infant daughter’s nose kept running so he “sucked out about a pound of snot before spitting it into the sink,” only to find out later that “the Swiss had invented a handy rubber tube” for that purpose. Head on over to Taki’s Magazine for the rest of “10 Reasons Old Punks Make Great Dads.”