In what may be the ad-world’s most counter-intuitive (or sadistically genius) move, CP+B magnate Alex Bogusky launched his new book, The 9-inch Diet, this week. He even got a write up in the Post. Snazzy!
The book focuses on…wait for it…portion control. Bogusky says the “idea” to write it spawned when he realized his 12-inch dinner plates wouldn’t fit into the cupboards of a 1940s cabin he bought (possibly with the money he got for making Americans fat by way of Burger King and Domino’s?). Apparently, the average dinner plate was 8.5 inches in diameter back in the day. Today, they’re much bigger — and we are all fatasses because of it. Damn you, Bed Bath & Beyond!
Bla bla it’s for sale on Amazon. Now on to the WTF part.
What the fuck is this your damage, man? We’re all for entrepreneurship, creativity, and all that — to be sure. And of course Adweek named CP+B agency of the year, snarf snarf, so we’re not out to malign Bogus(ky) — but for reals this is some grade A poop.
Let’s take a moment to discuss the issue. Burger King, weight loss, meat cologne, portion control. Domino’s pizza, tiny plates, nasty grease-covered cheese slop, book on how not to get fat from aforementioned nasty grease-covered cheese slop. If I was Louis Black, I’d call up Jon Stewart and insist he let me rant for 3 minutes.
Nothing we can imagine demonstrates so perfectly everything that is wrong with advertising than the CP+B machine. Their work is all at once amazing and appalling. It’s like IcyHot on testicles — one second it’s great, and the next you’re running around screaming about the inhumanity of it all.
Yeah, sure, fine, the book isn’t a CP+B work. But puh lease, Bogus is the front man — who else, even at 45, looks like a 27 year-old and runs his agency with so much panache? Audacious flagrance?
Dude, you can’t tell America to eat this whopper, drink that Sprite, gnaw that pizza and then give them the book to help them lose the 50 pounds they just crammed into their Dungarees. You’re like the Reagan administration during and after the Contra ordeal — selling guns, then dropping relief supplies from a plane 36,000 feet up.
Well, apparently you can do that. And you did. But, that doesn’t mean you should. Riding your mountain bike all day probably makes you tired, but for reals — how do you sleep at night?