Despite the fact that we run a couple of industry gossip blogs, we get a lot of inappropriate pitches…so we could very much relate to today’s blind item, sent from a vendor that will remain nameless to an agency that will do the same.
This email is real — and our contact tells us that it landed in the inboxes of every member of his/her team this morning along with a series of “personalized intros”:
Jennifer Jennifer bo-bennifer, banana-fanna-fo-fffrrrriggin hell, what am I doing? Sorry, when I get nervous I involuntarily play The Name Game. It’s weird. Mind if we start over?
AdvertisementI’m ___, a custom ___ based out of lower Manhattan. We make ___ for __ – think ___, but with a brand message at the center.
That’s why I’m in your inbox. The work you all did with ___ and ___ is great. Wait, so blacks and jews can finally get down with the crackas? #WhiteBoyStreetCred. Seems to me we’ve got like minds, and I likes that…
Check out the work we did for ___ (yeah, that ___). Here’s our ode to one’s manhood in the form of a power ballad. #catchmydrip?
Oh, and also this: ___ – it’s like viagra for your deck. You’re welcome.
Why I’m really stalking you: We’re always on the hunt for new, interesting projects to collaborate on and we’d love to make some new friends. Anyone want to drink drinks or lunch some lunch purchased by ___??
I sure do. Holler back.
Love,
_____
Good god, the hashtags.
At least the sender of this message seems somewhat self-aware; he/she did use the word “stalking,” but this entry belongs squarely in the #PRFAIL category.
We posted because we have never received such an appalling message — and we welcome any opportunity to waste a few minutes reviewing unbelievably shitty stock photos.