Anecdote of the Day: Self-Mutilating Ad Exec Edition

By Kiran Aditham 

Our lovely tipsters directed us to another brilliant Reddit thread in which (we’re assuming is) a demure young lady by the name of “sugar titties” tells a tale of a friend whose relationship turned out to be less than desirable thanks to the fetish of a “gorgeous” ad exec named “Kent,” who seems to be taking his cues from the Patrick Bateman playbook. You can’t make this up people (ok, maybe you can). Read on below:


“A friend of mine started dating a guy named Kent. This was just a couple months ago. Now Kent was GORGEOUS. He was also really nice and funny. He had a good job as an advertising exec and seemed pretty well off. So they dated for a little over a month and things seemed really great. I guess Kent got really comfortable because when they went to bed for sexytime my friend said that he was particularly rough this time. He was doing her doggystyle and whispers in her ear “I want you to have a part of me with you at all times, forever. Would you like that?“. Going along with is she said yes. He proceeds to get up and walk out of the bedroom. He comes backĀ WITH A FUCKING KNIFE. Scared she asked him what he was doing and he quickly sat on his knees in bed and proceed to make a small cutĀ ON HIS DICK then said “now suck me into you”.

She didn’t even get fully dressed before running out of the front door. Bye Kent.”