“Like You’ve Never Gone To The Bathroom & Had It Broadcast On National TV”

By Brian 

Kyra Phillips‘ top ten excuses, from tonight’s Late Show with David Letterman:

  10. Still haven’t mastered complicated on/off switch.

9. Larry King told me he does this all the time.

8. How was I supposed to know we had a reporter embedded in the bathroom.

7. I honestly never knew this sort of thing was frowned upon.

6. I couldn’t resist a chance to win $10,000 on “America’s Funniest Home Videos.”

5. I was set up by those bastards at Fox News.

4. Like you’ve never gone to the bathroom and had it broadcast on national television.

3. I just wanted that hunky Lou Dobbs to notice me.

2. Okay, so I was drunk and I couldn’t think straight.

1. You have to admit, it made the speech a lot more interesting.