AllTwitter’s Wednesday series Twitticisms is back, featuring the jocular jests and witty wisecracks of Twitter’s funniest.
Cue the laugh track:
I didn't think I'd say this, but that baby is much, much more beautiful than my own children.
— rob delaney (@robdelaney) July 23, 2013
To find out what your burlesque name would be, simply imagine how Tim Burton would address a letter to you.
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) July 23, 2013
Your password must contain a number, 8 letters, 4 pages of Shrek fan-fiction, the chorus of Mmmbop, & 2 unspeakable spells from Harry Potter
— Rob Fee (@robfee) July 23, 2013
Every time I break a spiderweb with my face, I know that I'm forging a safe path for others to follow. #heroism
— Robert Brockway (@Brockway_LLC) July 23, 2013
Customer service people need to start assuming that we already tried pulling out the battery
— Giulio Gallarotti (@Notjulio) July 23, 2013
Never was so much reported by so many about so little. #RoyalBaby
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) July 23, 2013
How did I get on the mailing list of Forever 21?
— bob saget (@bobsaget) July 23, 2013
No one in leopard print has ever given good advice.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) July 23, 2013
Share your favorites in the comments!
(Laughing image from Shutterstock)