AllTwitter’s Wednesday series Twitticisms is back, featuring the jocular jests and witty wisecracks of Twitter’s funniest.
Cue the laugh track:
I eat so much steak my colon had to rent a self storage unit.
— Jocelyn Plums (@FilthyRichmond) August 14, 2013
Halle Birthday, Happy Berry!
— Ellen DeGeneres (@TheEllenShow) August 14, 2013
Does anyone know if Cosmo is down? I need to know What My Favorite Type of Cronut Says About My Sexual Style
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) August 14, 2013
I'm ashamed to admit I'd be more upset if I read on the New York Times website that Twitter was down.
— Danny Zuker (@DannyZuker) August 14, 2013
Someone in the Times building is all, "WHO UNPLUGGED THE KEURIG????"
— bobby finger (@bobbyfinger) August 14, 2013
I think we're all going to be disappointed if Breaking Bad ends without Walt having his own element on the periodic table.
— daveanthony (@daveanthony) August 14, 2013
Sunflowers are really bad about "reading the room". Take it down a coupla notches, cheerholes!
— Paula Pell (@perlapell) August 14, 2013
Share your favorites in the comments!
(Laughing image from Shutterstock)