Our Wednesday series Twitticisms is back, featuring the jocular jests and witty wisecracks of Twitter’s funniest.
Cue the laugh track:
Getting to McDonalds before breakfast ends is my Amazing Race
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) April 23, 2013
Just briefly logged in to Facebook on a computer rather than my phone like knights and maidens did in days of yore.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) April 23, 2013
Coffee shops with wifi in Williamsburg should be called "bloggy daycare."
— Emmy Blotnick (@emmyblotnick) April 23, 2013
Parenting got a lot easier once I realized two things: I’ll never be perfect, and I don’t have any kids.
— Mark Peters (@wordlust) April 23, 2013
Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) April 23, 2013
I just looked into it and it's not illegal to wear a towel to work.
— Julius Sharpe (@juliussharpe) April 22, 2013
I spend Mondays lying in an elevator like a beached whale so everyone has to step over me
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) April 22, 2013
Share your favorites in the comments!
(Laughing image from Shutterstock)