THIS JUST IN: Super-Hungry Supermodel Busted for Stealing Food

By Shawn Paul Wood Comment

THIS JUST IN 2The modeling industry has a terrible reputation and it seems a legion of finely tuned, hipster publicists couldn’t correct that.

What with serial airbrushing on covers of the beautiful people, only a certain — shall we say, homogenized-type person — has a future on certain publications and whatever the hell those people wear during “Fashion Week.”

However, the most detrimental stigma to the world of modeling is eating disorders. People to need a waif, or possibly a refugee, to fit in and get noticed. Like I always say, “Stereotypes become a type for a reason.”

And then a model gets caught lifting food at a NYC bodega because she had the munchies. However, it’s what she stole that made news.

pop tart modelMeet Mary Jean Conniff.

Despite the fact that homegirl looks like she desperately needs to mix in one of those classic side of ribs seen in ‘The Flintstones,’ it would be easy to understand that any model of her haggard stature would get hungry from time-to-time.

Evidently, perception is so skewed in the modeling industry, that a girl can’t bust out some chocolate to cure the jitters. So, she gallivants to a local bodega on East 125th and Lexington and lifted the following:

“[A security guard] observed the defendant remove one cake, three boxes of Pop-Tarts, two boxes of cake mix and several other items from a shelf and conceal the items inside the defendant’s purse and pockets,” the complaint said.

And insert a doltish attorney in 3… 2… 1…

Conniff’s lawyer, Thomas Kenniff, called the bust a misunderstanding. “There was no finding of guilt against my client. There’s no reason to think this was anything more than a misunderstanding. She will go on to live a law-abiding life as she has always done,” he said.

Sorry, Holmes. The only “misunderstanding” is that you have to be that ridiculously skinny to model anything, much less, be attractive. Of course, that’s a PR problem, so I wouldn’t expect you to understand. BTW, give the girl cab fare to a buffet.