Salahis Pull Publicity Stunt to Earn 15 Whole Seconds of Attention

Michaele and Tareq Salahi, aka the middle-aged Speidi, really want you to remember they exist. That’s the only explanation for this whole scam with Tareq bawling on the local news like someone dissed Britney Spears and Michaele running off with some guy from Journey.

“This is not a joke,” he cries plaintively, choking on sobs. We call “bullshit.” And that’s not the kind of language we use very often.

In case you hadn’t heard, the previous paragraphs outline the story in a nutshell.