Miley Cyrus Can Haz Laser Cats Crying Diamonds

No, we didn’t watch the “everybody phone it in” American Music Awards last night. Who do you think we are?

Luckily, we are aware that the show was shockingly scandal-free and we do have some super obvious takeaways!

Lady Gaga and R. Kelly: interesting, but this was a “tribute” to JFK like Gawker‘s “15 Women JFK F*cked” was a tribute. Predictably, appropriately tasteless.

Taylor Swift: still not country. Who votes on these things—and did they hear the same songs we did?

Justin Timberlake: We take issue with his wins in the “Favorite Pop Artist” and “Favorite Soul/R&B Artist” categories—specifically the word “favorite.”

Macklemore

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