Facebook Forces Employees to Connect to the Net Like It's 1999

It was Christmas every day when AOL sent those free CD-ROMs because you knew you were about to have a great time in any one of the random 73 chat rooms you bookmarked. Of course, you had to fight through banal logging-in and dialing-in static frenzy, until you heard those infamous words: “You’ve Got Mail!”

Those were the days, amirite?

While some of you may be shaking your head, thinking the writer of this story is half-baked out of his mind, the others are vigorously nodding up and down, having a flashback of yelling down the hall, “Get off the phone! I’m trying to get online!”

Mark Zuckerberg and his cracked crew of hoodie-adorned, facially coiffed hipsters at Facebook want us to harken back to the days of inferior...