Alec Baldwin Has Had It With All You People

In a move that could not possibly inspire any self-respecting journalist to use the phrase “prima donna”, Alec Baldwin decided to make his latest “I’m retiring from public life for good, no takebacks this time” statement via a New York magazine cover story by Joe Hagan.

While he’s “had a relatively charmed life”, it seems Baldwin now faces the unbearable stress of living “…out there in a world where if you do make a mistake, it echoes in a digital canyon forever.”

Valid point, but what follows is approximately 5,000 words of A+ trolling.

His primary gripe lies with the photographers paid to take pictures of him, the tabloids that insist he used an anti-gay slur to call one of them out (after he supposedly caused Baldwin’s wife to fall off her bike and then laughed about it) and the otherwise respectable journalists who took their word for it.

But there’s more: Baldwin proceeds to address his...