Kraft has rebranded its salad dressing as "Anything Dressing"—a smart change that allows it to justify pouring its fattening Ranch over anything from asparagus to pizza. To promote the new branding, ad agency Being created a spot in which a lonely head of lettuce sits at home crying while Kraft dressing is out swinging with some randy chicken. The breakup is official, and there's little reason to wonder why, since the new Kraft is quite the dressing-whore, pouring itself over any foodstuff that comes along. Check out AnythingDressing.com  to see just how slutty Kraft's Anything Dressing can be. It even has a new slogan, "Up for anything." Which would explain why the dressing apparently swings both ways, getting it on with a hot rotisserie chick and an oversized wiener.