Mop Up The Spilt Milk

As I write this on Thursday night, more than a few thorny issues remain unresolved concerning General Mills and the so-called Saatchi 17. Some things may never be clear. But one thing is certain: This was a friggin' fiasco from the get-go. Everyone involved should have to teach a class on "How Not to Steal a Piece of Business." Let's start with Mike Burns, the aspiring pied piper who convinced a heretofore sensible group of professionals to go out on a limb—one that may be unable to support the weight of their collective ego. By many accounts, Burns, who has worked on the General Mills account at Saatchi & Saatchi for 25 years, was feeling unappreciated within Kevin Roberts' P&G-centric Saatchi and has been shopping this tasty piece of business all over town for months, talking to anyone who would listen. I guess there's nothing inherently wrong with that, if you can pull it off. But it's all in the execution, as they say, and this thing stunk from the beginning. Like, what was it that possessed the eight creative defectors to pool their identical resignation letters in a single envelope? Apparently, they did seek advice from a laywer, and because they didn't have contracts like Burns, were told it was OK to walk out en masse. Maybe that's true legally, but to the rest of the world it looks like collusion; and IPG would look like a thief in the night if it gave them safe haven. And what about all the wayward members of this fraternity? Let's say for a moment that the rumors are true—that Burns and the group did, in fact, get a wink and a nod from General Mills marketing executives, as if to imply, "We're right behind you." Well, if they didn't get the same directly from the CEO, then they didn't know this conservative Midwestern client as well as they thought, because right now General Mills is far more interested in shutting down this circus than in giving them their business. As well they should be. I'll admit that no one has ever accused me of being subtle, but come on, how ham-handed can you be? Maybe if they had walked out in pairs over the course of a month, without all the grandstanding, they might have gotten away with it. And what's up with IPG and Michael Roth? We're told that Roth's predessor, David Bell, was the one who got in bed with Burns and his merry minions, and that Roth is inheriting the situation. Roth, like Big G, now appears more interested in not looking like a vulture and is working to put forth the image of a pateint and classy competitor. Good luck with that. And then there's Kevin Roberts. Known for his legendary bravado, Roberts, his team at Saatchi and his boss, Maurice Lévy, started pulling the pieces back together, solidifying the account and doing enough saber-rattling to scare off IPG and leave the erstwhile team twisting in the wind for a spell. Roberts should have milked the role of hero after being betrayed by his own troops. Instead, the swashbuckler issued a statement indicating that the group had crawled back, asking for their jobs back. OK, he didn't use those words, but that was the implication. And that was unfortunate. Just as people started to talk about how Saatchi secured the business and muzzled this group of would-be defectors, they switched to talking about how petty Roberts was. He should take the high road next time. At press time, IPG had hired a few of the Saatchi 17 to set up a new unit, ostensibly in preparation for the eventual business from General Mills. Roberts was still chest-beating down on Hudson Street, and Burns, contractually, was waiting until March 15 to make his move. I admit that I have no idea how this will shake out. But I do know that this event has all the elements of a fascinating story: greed, arrogance, stupidity and enough legal threats to keep everyone unsure of their next move. That makes for high drama in the advertising business, and I would bet General Mills didn't want any part of it. I also know that, had this group pulled this thing off, we would be calling it bold and brilliant instead of stupid and silly. But it's too late for that. No matter how it ends, it will always be considered a mess.

Brand Marketing

Mop Up The Spilt Milk

Alison Fahey

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Alison Fahey