Lippert on Cannes: The Ultimate Client Kiss-Up

CANNES, FRANCE Any review of this year's Cannes Lions ad festival has to begin with the missing award: The Titanium wasn't bestowed this year, but a special Plutonium should have been arranged for Roger Hatchuel, festival owner and director, for unparalleled excellence in the art of client kiss-up.Obviously seeing his business' future salvation in client attendance (McFestival, anyone?), he salivated at every mention of P&G and McDonald's, whose employees numbered 100 strong in attendance but had the power of 10,000 in terms of influence and the agenda. "Only insecure creatives" will have a problem with increased client presence, and "secure creatives will find this stimulating! I warn you not to withdraw yourselves into a creative ghetto!" (The exclamation points attempt to convey his Gallic thunder.)With 2,000 attendees from all over the world gathered and sweating in their dress-up clothes (including a Japanese guy dressed as a samurai with a cleaver sticking out of his head, mimicking a winning spot) in the Palais, Hatchuel took the occasion to mention that for the first time, Shelly Lazarus was in attendance. (So next year, look for American Express leaving home.) He also said that "the next few years will hold more changes than the past 10 years," meaning additional fees collected for the new categories of graphics, PR and possibly radio. He added that the week could be summed up in one word: "inclusive." Indeed, it was wonderful that the film and press and outdoor jury head was from India, and for the first time an ad from Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, won a top prize (outdoor). Much of the advertising from emerging nations was smart and cool, which was a joy to see. Asia did really well: Three spots for Soken DVD players from Euro RSCG/Bangkok got gold, and were so funny and original and well-acted that they easily could have earned the Grand Prix.But by "inclusive," it would seem Roger means getting on board the love train with clients in all media. But that's not to say the week was not fun. Most American attendees seemed mellower and a lot less tense and depressed than in previous years. So, fun anyone? That's the tagline for "Mountain," the Playstation 2 spot that won the Grand Prix. I didn't think it was the best, as the brilliance was all in production, and it didn't have much of an idea, but it was not a shocking or controversial pick, and I understand the choice: It's big and memorable and shows thousands of people coming together, a literal metaphor for the "inclusion" that was a mandate to jurors all week.The most inspired part of the spot was the music: Shirley Temple's 1936 version of "Get on Board," which was brilliantly juxtaposed with the very dark, modern, chaotic footage. To get an idea of how much the world has changed in the last 35 years, compare the grainy and almost scary look with the other "Mountain" winner: Coke's earnest, sunny "Mountaintop." "Mountain" was shot in Brazil with a cast of 500, and more were added digitally. Human tsunamis were a big theme this year (think also of the award-winning "Truth" spot with 2,000 bodies lying outside the offices of a tobacco company). Among the American winners this year, the awards seemed to favor the Eastern agencies (known for clever words) rather than the Western agencies (known for visuals). This was surprising, since visuals are much more universally understood than jokes, but the golds for Budweiser's "Real Men of Genius" campaign as well as the FedEx work were richly deserved.DDB Chicago's Bud campaign seems like one big American cultural in-joke, but I guess the poignant archetypes are universal. My personal fave is Mr. Giant Taco Salad, that "conquistador of the calorie." Every visual bit is hilarious, and every word pays off, especially when the "few shreds of lettuce" are mentioned, and the three- woman chorus belts out, "I don't see no lettuce!" (Everyone who had to go anywhere at Cannes received the piercing aural gifts of Mr. Really Really Really Bad French Drummer, an average dude who took it upon himself to play amped-up death metal all day in the street.)As for BBDO's FedEx (also a fantastic body of work, my favorite of which is "Drama"), the one spot that failed to win is the one that's not reliant on English (angry Chinese boss shouts in Mandarin). On the other hand, MBAs seem to be universal jerks (and jokes), because that one got a huge laugh. (Plus, the woman who teaches him to use the online account is a marvelous actress who really holds the screen.)My vote for the Grand Prix would have gone to gold winner "Getting Dressed," from Bartle Bogle Hegarty in London, for Lever's Lynx 24-7. An amazingly fresh take on the typical love story (sans any graphic sex or nudity), it shows an attractive young couple waking up and getting dressed by retracing their route through the city to collect their clothes, which have been left at various spots in the course of their encounter. It's surprising and fun at every turn, and pays off beautifully. It ends in a supermarket, with two wagons left in the aisle in mid-push, as each collects his or hers and disappears. ("Because you never know..."). The gold for Toyota's "Girlfriend," from Saatchi & Saatchi in L.A., was also warranted. The spot is a completely novel way to appeal to men and women simultaneously.I wasn't a fan of the gold-winning work for Orange Telecommunications from Mother in London. Even though it featured the brilliant Carrie Fisher, this take on the whole Hollywood-meeting genre was just not clever enough, and it's not because I don't get British humor. (Hey, I love The Office!) Another U.K. medalist, the silver-winning "Bollocks," for VW Diesel from DDB in London, doesn't add up, and "Soap for Chevrolet, from Campbell-Ewald, was a similar idea (kids saying, "sh!") but better executed, and didn't even make the shortlist. No bronze was awarded in the "savory foods" category (a category label that always cracks me up), but major props go to DeVito/Verdi in New York (the little shop that could) for winning a silver for Meijer foods. The campaign is charming, unexpected and universal. (And easily could have earned a gold.) The winning spot shown featured a little girl as a lab-test subject who's given spinach in this scientific-research setting. ("Yech!" she responds.) Then she's given Meijer spinach. ("Yech!" she responds.) The tagline says that when the product is the same, you might as well rely on low price.Whereas DDB/Paris' silver work for Le Barran chickens, featuring some guy in a chicken suit doing regular, everyday jobs, was as lame as only a French guy in a chicken suit can be. The award for massive awkwardness went to Advertiser of the Year, BMW. During the ceremony, Hatchuel, natch, gassed on about The Roadmaster till everyone was asleep and then introduced Helmut Panke, the chairman of the board of management at BMW, a tall, elegant, white-haired man who could easily play the president of any EU nation. The audience started whistling and booing with their first look at the surprisingly ugly industrial film playing on the big screen (what? Not a single TV commercial from a single BMW agency anywhere in the world that they could get their hands on?). Then Panke never once mentioned Fallon, or any other agency, for that matter.So back to the clients. Cannes, remember, is a place where creatives tend to waste away their nights on the sidewalk outside the Gutter Bar (literally in the gutter) or burst into Portuguese national song at 4 a.m. at La Chunga (usually when they're not remotely Portuguese). It's also where 65-year-old women with rotisserie tans sunbathe topless and then cover up in gaudy T-shirts that say, "Love Hot Lips" and stroll down the Croisette.In that context, the formality and seriousness with which P&G and McDonald's conducted their press conferences would lead one to think they were announcing our exit strategy from Iraq. (Note to the McDonald's marketing guy who opened up the press conference: If you're going to mention how much the company loves being in Cannes, at least learn how to pronounce it correctly. "Kahn," which is wrong, is the standard mistake most Americans make. You, my good man, had the misfortune of really going for broke by adding the "s," saying "Kahnz," and then repeating it for good measure. As a public service for future client meetings, I offer the correct pronunciation: It is "Can," as in, "How old is that can of tuna?")In fairness, the McDonald's conference was not all gravitas: it ended with Ronald McDonald stopping by to shoot the breeze. Nuff said. Overall, a lot of good work won, which is very different from previous years, when at least half the Lions seemed not motivated less by great ideas or executions and more by rabid nationalism in the jury room. In one sense, Hatchuel was right in saying the tone this year was inclusion. There's palpable energy and excitement coming from much newer and younger advertising cultures, like Thailand. The boundaries are shifting just like a mountain, with people clawing their way to the top. That spot makes a lot more sense, by the way, when considering that it's not promoting videogames but Internet gaming, where the winner keeps changing. And, indeed, as the metaphor suggests, the Web does bring the world together, with room for many (an infinite number, actually). The singing-in-perfect-harmony part is gone, of course. But more to the point of Cannes, didn't Shirley Temple become a diplomat?Barbara Lippert is an Adweek columnist.

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Lippert on Cannes: The Ultimate Client Kiss-Up

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Barbara Lippert