Corporate Casualties, Tricking and/or Treating, Nakedly Truthful Ads, Etc. takes

If top executives of big corporations were the only people entitled to vote, General Electric's Jack Welch would be our next president—assuming he felt like taking the job. A poll by New York-based Doremus Advertising found Welch atop executives' list of "viable choices" for chief executive of the country, with 49 percent according him that status. Southwest Airlines' Herb Kelleher and IBM's Lou Gerstner were seen as prime presidential timber by one-quarter of those polled. What do these executives think of the people actually running for that office? Not much: 73 percent said neither George W. Bush nor Al Gore "is the best-qualified candidate the country had to offer." Let's say the executives were running for the White House themselves. Who would they pick as running mate? Colin Powell won a plurality of mentions (31 percent).Haven't got the hang of "corporate casual" yet? You're not the only one. An online poll by CNN.com found 17 percent of participants declaring: "I'm a mess at this. I go from formal to down-and-out." A less-perplexed 29 percent said, "Some days I hit it. Other days I'm either too dressy or too laid-back." Just over half (53 percent) said, "Most of the time, I nail it."Judge not lest ye be punched in the mouth. One suspects it's not what the Marquis of Queensberry had in mind, but a new Crunch Fitness ad makes vivid use of boxing to sustain the gym's familiar "No judgements" theme. DiMassimo Brand Advertising of New York created the piece. Elsewhere on the athletic front, nobody ever accused fantasy-league veterans of good sportsmanship. An ad for CNNSI.com's Fantasy Football (via marchFIRST of Portland, Ore., and San Francisco) aptly captures the in-your-face spirit of the sport. The target audience will know the taunt of "Loser" is the essence of camaraderie in their sporting circles.It's a little spooky when Halloween has higher turnout than a presidential election. We'll be lucky if turnout on Election Day gets close to 50 percent. By contrast, a Maritz Marketing Research poll found 56 percent of Americans have "someone in their home that participates in Halloween." Among these, 52 percent said they'll hand out treats, 39 percent plan to take their kids trick-or-treating, 32 percent expect to attend or throw a party and 15 percent intend to decorate the house. The average Halloween household spends $60 on the holiday, with the figure hitting $74 for the madcap 18-24-year-olds.Perhaps it's time to retire the expression "always a bridesmaid." An informal poll by Modern Bride found one bridesmaid in five "got lucky" at the last wedding where she played that role.Sure, they've got computers and cell phones coming out their ears. That doesn't mean 13-24-year-olds are techno-sated. If they could afford it, what gizmos would people in that age group like to have? Responding to a survey by the Zandl Group of New York, 59 percent cited flat TV sets, while 49 percent covet a digital camcorder and 47 percent would like a digital camera. Also on the want-one list: laptops (42 percent), CD burners (38 percent) and DVD players(34 percent). Although 71 percent said they wouldn't want a robotic pet, that leaves an alarming number who would. Honors for the Best Depiction of an Annoying Personality go this week to a spot featuring an "office cheerleader." You know the type: so relentlessly peppy that a brief encounter can leave you gritting your teeth for the rest of the day. We find a prime example of the species in a spot for betterbricks.com, a Web site where the Northwest Energy Efficiency Alliance explains how an energy-efficient building can make the workers more comfortable and productive. Oblivious to the discomfort she's creating, the woman ("Call me Sparky!") hands out fruit, playfully punches a colleague while wearing puffy boxing gloves, offers "fresh coffee for perky worker bees," etc. Her smiley-faced earrings are a nice detail. The moral for our readers: If this is the sort of employee you are, don't bother applying for a job at Cole & Weber of Portland, Ore., which created the spot. Some help-wanted ads are more frank than others about the peculiarities of the job on offer. An ad seeking nude figure-study models for an art school in Minneapolis falls on the candid end of the spectrum. Another ad, soliciting students for The Atelier, hints at the tone of the place: "Our school would have a fight song, but nothing rhymes with 'classical esthetic philosophy.' " (Surely they're mistaken.) The headline of one ad wards off potential students who wouldn't suit the studio: "If you think 'sofa-sized' is an art movement, you probably won't like our school." Indianapolis agency Young& Laramore created the campaign.In households with children, the youngsters are expected to eat breakfast. But do the parents get into the act? In a poll conducted on the Parent Soup Web site, 61 percent of participants answered "yes" when asked, "Does your family eat breakfast?" Another 31 percent responded, "The kids do, but I don't." The deadbeat dad is a fixture in the national consciousness. While hardly an endangered species, though, such fathers are less common than a decade ago. According to a new Census Bureau report, the number of custodialparents receiving full child-support payments from the other parent rose from 34 percent in 1993 to 41 percent in 1997. In cases where the nonresident parent has some arrangement for joint custody or visitation, 83 percent were forking over all or part of the child support they owed.

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Corporate Casualties, Tricking and/or Treating, Nakedly Truthful Ads, Etc. takes

Mark Dolliver

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