Barbara Lippert's Critique

The tribe has spoken. And now a word from our sponsors. They are the nine companies prescient enough to have thrown their support behind Survivor, CBS' monster hit, back when it was just a freaky Dutch TV show. Who knew it would become a cultural obsession?Part of what makes Survivor so repellent yet riveting is how quickly the castaways become archetypes: the crusty Navy Seal, the clueless neurologist, the vomiting biochemist, the foulmouthed female truck driver, the stylish cutie from the Miami Ad School. Some metaphors become just too apt, like the creepy, often naked, corporate trainer who took so naturally to hacking the tails off rats.Just as Survivor confuses what is public and private, the wall between programming and advertising has also been broken—the producers managing to wedge an amazing amount of product placement into a subsistence life on a remote island.In honor of the final show, and in the same spirit of banishing one player each week, Critique reviews the performances of the show's sponsors:Voted off the island: Blockbuster: "The magic of the movies! The hottest new releases!" The campaign never got a chance to unpack or develop festering bug bites. Made zero impression.Bud Light: If no man is an island, how many Bud-impaired dolts can one tropical setting hold? Points for island and ocean settings, but to what end? If they're not cross-dressers, reptiles or "Whassup?" guys, must males in beer ads be total idiots?Dr. Scholl's: Giant mobile footcare center rolls around the country, distributing free insoles and energy gels. Memorable, but about as entertaining as a set of corn removers. Dubious product placement award: After standing on a wobbly ocean log for two hours and 54 minutes to earn the "immunity idol,'' Kelly wins a pair of Dr. Scholl's insoles from host Jeff Probst. Could he be more generous?Visa: Wonderful spots, especially the one showing a kangaroo dreaming of the Sydney Olympics. But no immediate link to viewers. Did you hear the one about the guy abandoned on a desert island with only a ball of twine and a charge card?Doritos 3D: Engaging spot using basketball star Tim Hardaway and a kid. Plenty of flava, but not particularly fitting for the series.Interesting holdouts: Ericsson Digital Cellular Phone: "Make yourself heard.'' There's unexpected beauty in the art direction—showing musical notes popping up on Kabuki faces. A second spot goes techno-Leonardo daVinci with lines forming a human hand and body. Superior product placement: Gervase calls home, using World Phone, from South China Seas to New Jersey and gets through!Aztec by Pontiac: Good timing for summer car intro and great demonstration of the vehicle's many features. Sam and Kate a little too cute.Annoying holdouts: Reebok/Finish Line: Points for being the sole advertiser to make ads expressly for the series. (Don't forget the history-making use of faux fellatio and the fact that an early castoff, whiny lawyer Stacy, appears in a later ad calling one of the Dumb & Dumber guys a "loser.'') Reebok sandals and sneakers regularly seen on players. But puerile jokes wear thin quickly.And the ultimate survivor is the U.S. Army: Visuals of mud-covered islanders and mud-covered soldiers match, and so do the metaphors: Survivor is base and primordial, like the ooze that some soldiers emerge from in a dramatic spot.Indeed, after watching these nasty, brutish, narcissistic, greedy, uncooperative people in action, the show starts to look like a giant subliminal message for the military. Send these whiners to boot camp! See how Richard's overexposed derriere would fare there! BlockbusterDonerSouthfield, Mich.ReebokBerlin, Cameron & Partners/New YorkBud LightDDB WorldwideChicagoPontiac Aztec D'Arcy Masius Benton & BowlesTroy, Mich.U.S. ArmyYoung & RubicamNew YorkEricssonYoung & RubicamNew YorkVisaBBDONew YorkDr. Scholl's Messner Vetere Berger McNamee Schmetterer/Euro RSCGNew York Doritos 3DBBDONew York

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Barbara Lippert's Critique

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Barbara Lippert