Accomplishments Saturday Night Live alum; author of just released memoir Girl Walks into a Bar...: Comedy Calamities, Dating Disasters, and a Midlife Miracle
Base New York, NY
What’s the first information you consume in the morning?
I visit Dlisted! That’s the first website I go to. And then I go to real news. But Dlisted is like funny pop culture.
What do you read or watch or listen to at the breakfast table?
I usually look at all these news websites, but it’s all bad news and it makes me way too depressed. I have a problem with it. I go to CNN, ABC, MSNBC, The New York Times, blah blah blah, and I’m flooded with horrible news stories.
What occupies your mind in the car, on the subway, train or bus?
I always wish I had brought music or a magazine on the subway, but instead I stare awkwardly. I’m never subway-prepared.
Are you a TV junkie or on an airtime-restricted diet?
I used to watch TV before I had a kid. But now, I’m not kidding, I watch Sesame Street, and sometimes I’m subjected to Barney if he wakes up too early, and that’s a killer. I do watch a lot of Bravo. I would love to say that I watch Frontline and stuff like that, but I really don’t. I watch the Real Housewives. And I watch my friends’ shows like 30 Rock, Parks and Rec and Modern Family. And SNL!
Before bed, do you bite into a novel, graze on Twitter or fast until morning?
I look online again at my horrible, horrible news stories, and I read about these awful events in the world, and then I drift off to a fitful night of horrifying sleep. I’ve got to stop—I read some study that said that things are more traumatizing right before you go to sleep, so I’m trying to save everything for my morning flood of terror.
Which is more nutritious: print or Web?
I guess Web. I get New York magazine in real form, but that’s the only magazine I get. And then I read the rest of the papers online.
What’s your biggest digital indulgence?
What does that even mean, like porn? I don’t have gadgets or anything. I’m always the last techno-person on earth. I really did just get a microwave last year.
Give us the skinny on your favorite app.
Oh my gosh, I don’t even have any because I just got an iPhone. I haven’t even explored the world of apps—like I said, I just got the microwave. I’m kind of intrigued by that Shazam thing, though. I like to consider myself the “Human Shazam” because I’m really good at recognizing songs. But I get stumped too, so I could use Shazam to back me up.
With such a bloated media universe, how do you cut out the fat?
I don’t know if I have cut out the fat. I think I spend way too much time online, and I should read more. It’s almost like I have to break myself of it with a 12-step program.
Information Diet: Rachel Dratch'SNL' alum is a fan of '30 Rock' and 'Parks and Rec,' but is also drawn to news headlines