Horatio Alger in Oz

By Jason Boog Comment

joesluck.jpgSubmissions for the World’s Longest Literary Remix contest are rolling in, including Wizard of Oz-themed entry from novelist Laura Hill. Read her ruby slipper-ed submission after the jump.

Hill joined a brave crew of readers in rewriting one page from a Horatio Alger novel for fun and prizes–read his entry after the jump. 150 pre-registered GalleyCat Reviews readers have signed up to rewrite one page of Joe’s Luck: Always Wide Awake (cover pictured, via).

We will publish the remixed text as a free digital book. Each remix contributor will be eligible for a random drawing of special giveaway prizes. Three excellent sponsors have donated prizes:

1-Scribd.com and Blurb.com are donating 10 printed copies of the completely remixed novel, using the company’s new print-on-demand service.

2- The remixing experts at Quirk Books will give one lucky winner an assortment of Quirk Classics books, posters, and audiobooks–a prize package worth over $100.

3-The multimedia literary journal Electric Literature will donate “Electric Literature: Year One”–a complete set of the first four issues of the journal–a $40 value.

Horatio Alger in Oz

“Yes; it satisfies me.”

“Are you alone? Have you no partner?” asked Hogan.

“What need do I have of partners when I have a fleet of flying monkeys to serve me?” Joe replied staunchly.

“Why flying monkeys may be fine for terrorizing munchkins and small girls with dogs, but what I’m talking about is far grander than that!”

“Grander than forcibly ruling the Emerald City?”

“Grander than holding sway over all of Munchkin Land.What I propose is bigger than even the great Oz’s head!”

“Well then, spit it out, Hogan, what do you propose?”

Hogan leaned toward Joe and whispered, “I propose we turn the castle into a sports bar.”

“A sports bar, that’s it? I would hope you might come up with something better than that!” sneered Joe in disgust.

“Imagine the possibilities,” said Hogan draping an arm over Joe’s shoulders and sweeping his other hand in a grand gesture, “Flat screens on the tower, the Tin Man and the Scarecrow tending bar, monkeys in Dallas Cowgirl outfits.”

“And what about me?” They both turned toward the trembling voice of the Cowardly Lion who stood wringing his tail as he waited for Hogan’s reply.

Hogan peered at the lion momentarily annoyed at the interruption, then seeing his opportunity to win an ally he replied with enthusiasm, “You will be the Mascot who bravely guards the door.”

“I don’t want any partner, Mr. Hogan,” replied Joe staring unkindly at the diminutive man, “And I may as well tell you, I think your foolish for coming here.”

“Foolish perhaps but I have something that may convince you otherwise.” Upon speaking Hogan grasped his trouser legs and hoisted them up to his knees.

“The ruby sneakers!” Joe exclaimed, “Give them to me.”

“Do you mean to insult me?” asked Hogan, scowling. “You know as well as I do that they cannot be taken off once they’re put on.”

“I mean to try!” Joe replied lunging at the intruder. Sparks flew from the sneakers.

“Very well then you leave me no choice,” replied Hogan. “I will sleep here the night until we can figure out a way to get them off.”

“Sleep here?”

Laura Hill has enjoyed an illustrious career writing anything and everything from cheesy ads to historic documentaries aired in such illustrious places as the History Channel. My current work involves tracking a paranormal biker named Rider as he and a horde of flying Things wreck havoc on Hollywood.

Want to read more? Check out these other amazing remix entries:
Horatio Alger and the Chocolate Factory
The Yiddish Version
What Would James Ellroy Do?
Horatio Alger Versus The Doppelganger