Fruit-y Advice from Pagan Herbalist

By Neal 

The press release for Lexa Roséan’s The Encyclopedia of Magickal Ingredients is filled with herbal “prescriptions” for celebrities, ranging from the goofy-sounding (lime peels would help Kate Moss repel negative vibes from the press) to the borderline tasteless (pack bananas next to James Doohan’s ashes to make sure they have a safe flight into space). My favorite, though, may be the elaborate preparations recommended for New York City subway riders:

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“…wear a dab of lavender oil to reduce stress—a pinch of mustard seed in the pocket to steel the nerves—and dust the hands and feet with curry powder (left) to ward off evil terrorists.”

I enjoy the soothing scent of lavender as much as any other red-blooded metrosexual, but now, apart from thinking “evil terrorists” is a bit redundant, I can’t help imagining a morning commute that smells like Indian take-out… But lest you think Roséan’s a flake, rest assured that CosmoGirl’s astrological advisor comes with the Village Voice seal of approval.