I recently had dinner with two friends, both powerful men in the entertainment industry. One was Johnny C. Taylor Jr., former IAC subsidiary CEO reporting to one of the world’s top three media moguls, Barry Diller and author of The Trouble with HR, whose book incidentally just hit bookstores. The other man will remain unnamed but is an agent friend of mine who represents a number of the A-list stars seen gracing the covers of top magazines. As we met at one of Manhattan’s top restaurants, I was taken aback (but not surprised knowing the gentlemen as I do) that, within two minutes of sitting down, each of them separately excused themselves to make a “quick phone call.”
I knew this to be a slightly different reality. They needed a fix: a quick peek at their Blackberry or, as people affectionately call them, “Crackberries.” Just the thought of putting their Blackberries aside, even for 30 minutes of dinner conversation, had them breaking into a cold sweat and panic. What if they missed a phone call or, God-forbid, an email? Granted both have very demanding occupations, but what would it hurt to put their Blackberries away for a few minutes of conversation I joked?
After waiting patiently for 15 minutes, I was not surprised to see their addiction had not been sated. Throughout our rather lively conversation about literature and Taylor ‘s book launch, the two of them could not help themselves. They were “jonseing” for a fix. Within a span of ten minutes, I caught them glancing at their Crackberries half a dozen times, in a rather obvious effort of being inconspicuous. Sneaking their Blackberries under the table and pretending to check their watches fooled no one, not even themselves.
The fact was obvious: these were two addicted men. Two powerful men completely reliant upon a small piece of mobile technology. What could possibly drive a mega-agent and Taylor , an author whose circle of friends included some of the most powerful people in entertainment and politics, to such an addiction?
With Taylor ‘s consent, I asked another friend and client of mine, Cassandra Richmond, a trained psychological counselor, why this was and what others with this addiction could do about it.
She explained that people addicted to Blackberries could be suffering from what she called the “Linus-syndrome.” (Referring to the character Linus from the Charlie Brown comics). Rather than sucking their thumbs, however, people use their “personal communication apparatus” as a security mechanism, or safety blanket.
The Blackberry is a pacifier that helps convince the person that they are worthwhile and immediately accepted.
“It’s not what you write; it’s what you say,” says Richmond. “People desire to communicate in a way that will always be accepted. Therefore, by avoiding personal contact, they can assure that they will always be accepted by the second party for as long as the virtual conversation continues. Meeting in person introduces factors that a person cannot control. But they can control their words, thus controlling people’s perceptions of them.”
So, what should Blackberry addicts do about his technological dependency? Three tips, Richmond recommended:
1) Like any addiction, the first step is to admit you have a problem. How do you know if you have a problem? If your friends tell you that the phone interferes with your face to face social life, follow this admission with a a quick solution:
2) Turn the thing off.
3) If going cold turkey is too much of an extreme for you, Richmond recommends an alternative solution, weaning your usage. Limit yourself to checking your e-mail to every half hour and work your way from there. Soon enough you could build up the stamina and “courage” to turn it off until you absolutely needed to use it. Instead of avoiding personal face to face contact, strive for it.
Go ahead, Blackberry addicts, reach out and touch somebody.
Jeff Rivera is the author of “Forever My Lady” and the founder of GumboWriters.com.