Vine Job Postings Go to the Dogs

Potty trained;
Neutered;
CUTE;
Relatively quiet;
Can’t reach my lunch;
Boundless enthusiasm for staring into the distance at absolutely nothing whatsoever;
Vineable;
Hypoallergenic;
Gets along with other office dogs;
Familiar with Woof, Arf, Bark, Sniff, Deploy! (WABS);
Computer science degree from Ivy League school;
Can catch midair multiple remote controlled helis concurrently.

Then again, it’s not every day that a major media company puts out a call for an Office Dog.