Tucker Carlson's Breakfast of Champions

In light of last week’s New Yorker story on media macher Tab fanatics like Steve Brill (who always had two cases of the puke-pink cans in the kitchen at all times during my brief period in his employ) I asked Fishtern Jamie Frevele to investigate the wider cults of Diet Coke and other fine soft drinks lurking in Mediaville. (Personally, I drink two liters of Diet Coke and another two of diet ginger ale literally every day.)