For the penultimate installment of his New York Times “Motherlode” blog series “Sperm Donor Diary,” writer David Dodge has shared the details of an unusual East Village coffee klatch.
As the imminent, identified sperm-donor father of a daughter (she is currently overdue), he sought a better understanding of what the future holds for his progeny by meeting with Flannery, fathered by a donor who currently lives in Atlanta and raised in the East Village in the 1980s by two mothers. Flannery’s dad, a gay man, has never come out to his family. Although he spent a lot of time with Flannery during her formative years, she, in turn, has never met any relatives on his side. From Dodge’s blog item:
I considered this for a moment: What must it be like to know you have these relations in the world — a grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins — who don’t know you exist?
“Until recently, I was very saddened by it,” Flannery explained. “It would be really cool to get to know them.” But ultimately, she let it go, partly out of fear for how her father’s family might react to her nontraditional upbringing. “What if I met my grandmother after all these years, and she was like, ‘You’re from the serpent?’ That would be devastating.”
Although Flannery hasn’t seen her dad in two, three years, he follows her on social media and exchanges the occasional text message. Read the rest of Dodge’s blog item here.
P.S. This is not the first time Flannery has been featured in the New York Times. Last fall, the “Styles” section profiled her catering company bigLittle Get Together.