Metropolitan Museum of Art to Open Eight Days a Week (OK, Seven)

Since 1971, Mondays at the Metropolitan Museum of Art have been reserved for journalists (attending life-enhancing press previews) and crestfallen tourists. The latter bunch, recognizable by their non-black garments, lack of writing utensils, and general giddiness, mounts the famed staircase in twos and threes only to discover that the museum is…CLOSED. A rapid progression through the five stages of grief follows, and by the time anger (“I told you we should have checked the website!”) turns to acceptance, the out-of-towners are proceeding north to the Guggenheim.