The quirky, conservative and always entertaining folks over at National Review Online’s “The Corner” blog have put out their list of 2006 predictions.
Here are some of the ones relevant to readers of this blog:
Kellyanne Conway: Valerie Plame poses in Playboy. Husband continues to complain others outed her. Three high-ranking officials in the Bush administration (White House or Cabinet) resign for non-controversial reasons.
Jonah Goldberg: Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame will enter talks to launch their own talk/reality show. Even after a sweeps week episode in which Wilson eats 6 pounds of yellow cake from in-between Plame’s cleavage with his hands tied behind his back, he will take great offense at anyone who suggests he’s a publicity hound.
There will be more revelations about right-wing pundits–most of them fairly marginal figures–being paid to write columns. But the hullabaloo will spark investigations of several liberal journalists. The results will prove sufficiently embarrassing that the issue will be less fun for Daily Kos types but spark a million thumb-sucking panels at the Columbia Journalism School. Freed-up from book writing, Jonah Goldberg will become a dynamo of journalistic productivity. He will also reacquaint himself with the concept of cardio-vascular activity.
Kathryn Jean Lopez: Maureen Dowd becomes an eharmony.com success-story commercial. A fight breaks between Corner regulars at NRO’s tenth anniversary party. I break it up.
Carrie Lukas: Air America will finally go under, ironically undermined by “competition” from the taxpayer-supported NPR that they vigorously support. Distraught listeners in search of liberal viewpoints will be forced to turn to CBS, ABC, NBC, CNN, The New York Times, etc…
Clifford D. May: Roger Ailes will not lose sleep over competitive pressures. More specifically, network news programs, CNN and MSNBC, and major newspapers will not stem declines in audience/circulation. The media moguls will not figure out that at least half of those who follow the news are conservatives who prefer not to be insulted and condescended to by “progressive” reporters, editors, and producers. Maureen Dowd will not get married.
John J. Miller: At National Review: a Duran Duran cover band called Le Bon Bon will record “K Lo,” to the tune of “Rio,” and it will rise to #14 on the Japanese charts; Jonah Goldberg will be photographed topless on the deck of a National Review cruise ship, sparking an international controversy that helps him launch a reality-TV show showcasing his collection of homemade hand puppets, which have never been seen before; a student group called the Womyn’s Liberation Front will sponsor a ceremonial burning of Kate O’Beirne’s best-selling book Women Who Make the World Worse.
Ned Rice: Hoping to regain her anonymity, Valerie Plame announces plans to host a prime-time TV show on MSNBC.