Wired Editor Wants Staff to Stop Being Disgusting

"Wired is no longer a pirate ship"

Prior to Wired’s move into new offices on January 5, editor Scott Dadich felt he needed to address cleanliness. It seems Wired staffers are sort of gross and needed to be reminded to not be that way.

In a memo, Dadich gently scolded staffers like a parent would reprimand a teenager — he’s not mad, he’s just disappointed. Below are some highlights of the memo. You can read the full note at The Awl.

“Clean your dishes, and please remove the food from your dishes from the sink.”

This is something most people learn at age nine, but alas.

“I love your custom-made/vintage/neon sign/one-of-a-kind lighting appliance. But it’s not right for the design of this new space. Please use the brand-new desk lamp we just purchased for you.”

Something tells us Dadich does not actually love those lighting appliances.

“It’s an embarrassment: coffee stains on walls (and countertops and desks), overflowing compost bins, abandoned drafts of stories and layouts (full of highly confidential content), day-old, half-eaten food, and, yes, I’m going to say it, action figures. Please. Wired is no longer a pirate ship. It’s the home of world-changing journalism.”

We love that Dadich called out action figures. Adults should not own — or even enjoy — action figures. Also, Wired’s new tagline should be “Not a pirate ship.”

(Image: Instagram/Scott Dadich)