I like to consider myself completely unbiased and neutral. I’m sure you do, too! But today I cast off the shackles of journalistic neutrality and openly challenge Will Leitch to a duel. Dude’s hatin’ on my homies! Consider the fightin’ words on today’s Deadspin: “Sports Illustrated called them the most hated team in all of sports. Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs so despised? It’s not like they’re carting off the Stanley Cup every other year (actually, not since 1967). Maybe it’s simply because they’re from Toronto, considered by many Canadians as kind of a Land of Oz — if Oz were a cold, gray, bland, dirty, unfriendly place full of winos and jerks.” Hmph. I mean, really! Leitch invites readers to “fill us in if we’re off base with any of this” and we will by saying that not only is Toronto a magical land filled with sunshine, puppies, love, friendship, joy, very funny people, some very nice wine from Pelee Island, and KitKats that beat the pants off the cheap waxy versions you get here (no offense guys, but you’ve been cheated on the chocolate front for years), but it’s also the hometown of some very popular people around these parts. Okay fine, yes, we all live here. Touché. But until you pack up and head on back to Mattoon, kindly keep your mean and hurtful comments to yourself.
P.S. I’ve got $10 on the Mattoon NHL team to go all the way this year! Oh, there is no Mattoon NHL team? Aw, too bad. That would have been payable in loonies.