Why Washington D.C. Gossip Sucks

The Washington Examiner‘s Yeas & Nays reported earlier this week that the National Zoo is hosting an ape-themed wine tasting.

First of all, did anyone consider the smell when arranging this reception? Secondly, our only recent memory of the great ape house at the National Zoo is children and parents sitting around watching one of the apes vomit up his lunch. Funny, yes. Appetizing? Not really.

Most importantly, this item isn’t gossip. Though it deserves points for its unusual nature, this sounds like a reprint of a press release or a persistent publicist who won’t take no for an answer. In short: vanilla extract.