Why Washington D.C. Gossip Sucks

There are so many examples of how Washington gossip is so vanilla. Oh the choices!

Have you been the victim of “frotteurism”? That’s the fetish, of sorts, where people rub their genitals against you in crowded public areas. If you have, DC Metro is looking out for you. Yeas and Nays posted the poster for their anti-groping campaign this week with the tagline “Rub against me and I’ll expose you.” Taken by itself, the slogan seems like an enticement, frankly. Maybe they should’ve gone with, “Rub your crotch against me and I’ll knee your balls into your throat.” But that’s just me.

The term “Celebrity Chef” doesn’t mean a damn thing anymore. Much like “supermodel” is applied to anyone who has their picture taken, “celebrity chef” is now applied to anyone short of the dude working the French fry machine an McDonald’s. So when Yeas and Nays posted a list of “Celeb chefs invited to W.H. Easter egg roll,” it wasn’t a surprise that it read like a “Who’s Who” list of people you really need to ask “Who?” about. As a bonus, this list includes a “celebrity fitness expert,” which means the guy tells fat people to run on camera. At best, weak.