AllTwitter’s Wednesday series Twitticisms is back, featuring the jocular jests and witty wisecracks of Twitter’s funniest.
Cue the laugh track:
Storage. Parking. Cupcakes. We've let down John and Yoko. pic.twitter.com/d57mTcAZ61
— Jake Fogelnest (@jakefogelnest) July 28, 2013
if you're out in public and you see someone you went to high school with, keep calm and army crawl out the door
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) July 28, 2013
Fun game: If you’re on “Jeopardy” begin all of your questions will “Pray tell…” and see how long it takes before Alex Trebek strangles you.
— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) July 28, 2013
McD's worker: Hello, this is McDonald's.
Me: Yes, do you deliver?
Me: But like, will you though?
— Krista Doyle (@Krista_Doyle) July 28, 2013
Whoever forces all pilots to wear weird hats when they fly is an ass.
— Ben Schwartz (@rejectedjokes) July 28, 2013
Oh come on. pic.twitter.com/CVAk4nTAHO
— Ashley Burns (@MayorBurnsy) July 28, 2013
At Hollywood parties everyone wants to fit in and be cool. So, sooner or later someone's going to pressure you into trying kale
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) July 28, 2013
Share your favorites in the comments!
(Laughing image from Shutterstock)