Our Wednesday series Twitticisms is back, featuring the jocular jests and witty wisecracks of Twitter’s funniest.
Cue the laugh track:
Following someone and complaining about what they tweet about, is like a peeping Tom calling up to tell you he prefers your other nightie.
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) March 26, 2013
#RelationshipsTheseDaysAre like toilet paper. Either they are super plushy, strong and awesome…. or they are full of crap. Choose wisely.
— Charmin (@Charmin) March 14, 2013
Fuck you, recipes that list something chopped, covered in olive oil and baked for 20 minutes as an "ingredient." I am not Wonder Woman.
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 21, 2013
I am bummed whenever I see the word "bassist" because I hope it is "basset" and it ISN'T.
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) March 23, 2013
Opening a new Catholic-themed stationary store called Pen And Papal.
— Jason Biggs (@JasonBiggs) March 12, 2013
I'm bored. Let's get a new pope.
— joe mande ❤️ China (@JoeMande) March 23, 2013
I am not currently Mexican
— Jeremy Piven (@jeremypiven) March 25, 2013
Share your favorites in the comments!
(Laughing image from Shutterstock)