Our Wednesday series Twitticisms is back, featuring the jocular jests and witty wisecracks of Twitter’s funniest.
Cue the laugh track:
Sometimes I'll post a weird joke on facebook so I can watch it shrivel and vanish like an ice cube in the sink.
— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) April 30, 2013
There is an ongoing meeting of painfully slow walkers on Broadway.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) April 30, 2013
Oh your account is protected? What do you tweet? Nuclear launch codes?
— TED (@HilariousTed) April 30, 2013
All my relationships should be like Twitter, where I just randomly talk about myself all day and everyone tells me how great that is.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) April 29, 2013
bashful popsicle stick https://t.co/61ruxEIq2M
— Eric Stonestreet (@ericstonestreet) April 29, 2013
If I had one piece of advice for aspiring writers, it would be "Learn how to type on an exercise bike, or you will die."
— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) April 29, 2013
AMBERT ALERT: @realhughjackman DOES NOT FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) April 29, 2013
Share your favorites in the comments!
(Laughing image from Shutterstock)