Time magazine’s pick of Vladimir Putin as Person of the Year was far from unanimous. Among the magazine’s stable of blogs (some of which, we may add, are quite good) is Nerd World, written by Time book critic Lev Grossman and Matt Selman, an executive producer of The Simpsons. It’s pretty self-explanatory.
Grossman and Selman decided to ask Putin the same questions as POTY runner up J.K. Rowling:
1. Why doesn’t Fred appear in the woods at the end as well?
There are snipers in the woods. Do not stray from the Dacha, it is very dangerous. I cannot protect you outside the Dacha.
2. Did Harry die?
Many people, including journalists, are tempted to make a little bit more money here and there, which means they get involved with entrepreneurs, sometimes with criminal businessmen. If this “Harry” became involved with such people, death is a possibility.
3. What was that creature in the corner at King’s Cross?
Perhaps it was NATO, a putrid corpse of the Cold War.
4. What was Dumbledore’s wand made of?
Polonium 210… I mean, how would I know? That wand had nothing to do with the radiation poisoning of Alexander Litvinenko, if that is what you are implying.
5. What did Dumbledore really see in the Mirror of Erised?
Well, Dumbledore is a well-known homosexual. If he were to look into a mirror which reflected his strongest desire… BOISHE MOI!!!
Holy crap… Time is actually becoming funny? There’s hope for Rick Stengel and company yet.