This Week In Pool Reports

In this week’s installment, Vice President Cheney is entertained by a bikini clad woman, Pres. Bush pigs out at Porker’s, the Imperial Palace is revealed to be a facade and it seems even the Japanese hates Yankees fans (kidding people. No hate mail please). And lets not forget Mark Silva’s 3,865 word pool report. Is that a new record?

  • “The flight to Guam had lasted longer than three hours, Jack Nicholson, Leonard DiCaprio, Matt Damon and Mark Whalberg starred in the midair show, The Departed, and the vice president arrived in apparent good cheer. And this was before the young woman wearing a bikini top and a hip-hugging skirt appeared on a riser toward the rear of the audience in the hangar. To our untrained eyes, she appeared to be a hula girl. But we were informed that she is a ‘chamorrita’ — which is an affectionate term for young women who dress like this in Guam, where natives are called ‘chamorras.'” — Mark Silva, Chicago Tribune

  • “POTUS left the convention center around 1:50 p.m., and a few short minutes later the motorcade came to a surprise halt in downtown Chattanooga outside Porker’s Bar-B-Que, a two-story brick place that evoked memories of the 50s, with Coca-Cola signs and some neon decor. As the name implies, it’s a barbecue joint. The hand-painted picture on the glass front window shows a pig reclining atop flames, above the motto: ‘We don’t squeal.’ (Your pooler could make the obvious joke about squealers and leaks, but she will refrain.)” — Sheryl Stolberg, New York Times

  • “At the Imperial Palace, just a few American reporters were escorted through the old bureaucratic warrens of the building, past peeling paint and busted pipes and through the service corridors up into the ceremonial show-case of the palace.” — Silva

  • “The press hotel is quite close to the embassy, and after arriving at the hotel we were greeted by some extremely loud sound trucks that were parked just outside some barricades that had much of the street outside the hotel closed. They were playing music and blaring chants, mostly in Japanese. They were extremely loud, and had to be audible at the nearby embassy. They dispersed after several minutes, however. But there was one unmistakable chant blaring from one of the trucks, in a Japanese accented male voice chanting in English: ‘Yankee Go Home, Yankee Go Home.'” — Silva

  • “Still sunny/freezing. But this time, as your pooler waited in the cold outside the Oval Office, she was entertained by sight of Barney and/or Miss Beazley, who ran around a bit in the snow-covered lawn, but were not at all interested in chasing after a ball that was thrown in their general direction by a member of the White House staff.” — Malia Rulon, Gannett News Service