Well, Tina was right about one thing: it was messy. The things we’ll remember from last night’s Golden Globes, ranked from least to most surprising:
- Everyone was drunk (and everyone who wasn’t was pregnant)
- Breaking Bad won best show, obvs
- 12 Years a Slave won best drama, obvs
- Jennifer Lawrence won best supporting actress (obvs again, but someone should have nominated Amy Adams‘ wardrobe malfunction-free V-necks)
- Bono is NOT the biggest Diddy fan:
- Apple had the night’s most pretentious ad
- The unofficial Matthew McConaughey drinking game went as well as expected:
“Alright, alright, alright!” That’s a drinking game rule, y’all! GO!
— refinery29 (@Refinery29) January 13, 2014
- Despite the fact that hosts Tina Fey and Amy Poehler‘s lines felt less barbed than we’d hoped, Tina still scored the night’s two biggest laughs by snarking on top stars’ womanizing ways. The best part? Clooney and DiCaprio were both like, “True.”
- The Muppets had the night’s best ads
- We got a little extremely unfiltered commentary from Ronan Farrow on what he really thinks about his “father”:
Missed the Woody Allen tribute – did they put the part where a woman publicly confirmed he molested her at age 7 before or after Annie Hall?
— Ronan Farrow (@RonanFarrow) January 13, 2014
- Brooklyn Nine Nine? Really?!
- JLaw’s photo bomb felt a little less…spontaneous this year (Love you and all, but “I’m quirky!” only works so many times. Ask Gaga.)
Decent show overall, though it was quite sloppy(!) and we feel like Amy Poehler may have abandoned some of her best jokes to win that award (which she totally deserved, BTW). And what about the shockingly low production values? Does the Hollywood Foreign Press Association need to tell us something?
Biggest disappointment: no nomination for Bobby DeNiro’s American Hustle turn as “generic aging mobster who speaks a little Arabic”. What a stretch!
In summary, put your money on 12 Years a Slave at the Oscars. We may or may not have a guy on the inside.