The FishbowlDC Interview With Roger Stone

Say hello to Roger Stone, the GOP consultant and strategist who is among the more colorful Twitter handles around these days. He’s also an unpaid contributor to HuffPost and writes TheStoneZone, a blog about whatever the hell is on his mind. He shoots from the hip with just about anyone who can stand it. For example, when CNN Contributor and Washington Watch’s Roland Martin recently called him the Pee Wee Herman of GOP Politics, Stone replied, “And your the Sir Mix-a-lot to TV- fat, ignorant and poorly dressed.” When Martin suggested that Stone douse himself in holy water, Stone had a simple question in return: “Who made you God, Fattass?[sic] Eat some more Popeye’s.” Late last night, he sent us his interview with a preface note. It read, “In your inbox, Warning  — ADULT MATERIAL.” When we phoned him this morning, Stone’s voicemail is a dignified-sounding woman with a British accent telling you to leave a message at the beep. It’s his longtime assistant, D.J. Thorne, who has been with him for more than two decades. Asked about being an unpaid HuffPost Contributor, he says, “Yeah, it would be nice [to get paid], but it’s a great outlet.” Writing there twice a month serves a purpose. “When I write, I would like to get beyond right-wing extremists,” he says. “I’d like to have a broader audience. I’m not your conventional conservative. I’m a Libertarian and a Libertine.” Every Tuesday morning he posts on TheStoneZone: “I post on politics, food, something obnoxious. I have a pretty decent following. I’d like to post everyday, but I can’t do it all the time.” His feelings about Twitter: “I love the format of Twitter. You get in, you get out.” He says he tries to avoid fighting and admits he gets a sizable amount of hate mail that he ignores. He points to BuzzFeed‘s Alex Kaczynski as a proverbial thorn in his side. “He insists that my white dinner jacket is wrong,” Stone says. “He’s wrong. If he engages me, as he occasionally does, then I have to respond with the correct sartorial rules.” Stone says it’s okay to wear the white dinner jacket between Memorial Day and Labor Day. “He doesn’t think it’s right anytime,” Stone says. “He doesn’t get the white dinner jacket thing. He never checked with Sean Connery obviously.” Stone also incites people by introducing political disputes into the zeitgeist. “Hillary Clinton constantly lies,” he says. “She’s lying about Benghazi. If I put that up, you get hundreds of retweets. There are certain heavy retweets. If I write about the fine points of Austrian economics, no one will retweet that. No, I don’t write about that. It’s a little dry.” Stone doesn’t just fight online. Stone, who lives in Miami Beach, says he’s currently in a dispute with  WPLG Channel 10’s Bob Norman because I have helped a couple of young men start a new community blog called The Broward Bugle. “They object. They say this isn’t real. 100,000 readers.  Sorry, welcome to the new media,” says Stone. “You don’t have a monopoly on the new media. They’ve gotten a few scoops. They resent the competition. My attitude is get off your dead ass, report the news or someone else will.”

If you were a carbonated beverage, which would you be?  I would be Pellegrino. I’m half Italian. I’m Italian from the waist down.

How often do you Google yourself? Permanent Google News and Blog alert.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever said to an editor/boss (or vice versa)?  Fuck You.

Who is your favorite working journalist and why?  Matt Labash, Weekly Standard, no one does it like him.

Do you have a favorite word?  Fuck-it’s so descriptive.

Who are you named after and what are people’s general reaction to your name? Named after my father, a well digger his whole life. It’s a good name. Fits on a bumper-sticker.

Who would you rather have dinner with – NBC’s Brian Williams, CNN’s Roland Martin, ABC’s Sherri Shepherd or Fox News’ Megyn Kelly? Tell us why. Megyn Kelly. She’s hot. Roland Martin? The guy’s a buffoon. I know so many other men, black and white, who are smarter, more articulate and better on TV. Why Roland? Besides – a black man in a fuscia ascot ? No.

The Earth’s human population is dying out and you must save it. You will spend a romantic evening with either Scandal’s Kerry Washington, Homeland’s Claire Danes or any of the women from FNC’s “The Five”. Who will it be? (None is not an option.) Kimberly Guilfoil. No Question. Can I have two? Will also take Krystal Ball (MSNBC) for 3-some action.

What swear word do you use most often?  Fuck . Nixon said it constantly.

You’ve just been told the big news: You get to have your own Sunday morning talk show. Who will be on your roundtable? (Pick four journalists or pundits types.) Maggie Haberman Politico, Richard Winger from Independent Political Report, Erroll Louis from NY-1 and Nick Confessore of the New York Times.

On a serious note for a moment, if you could have dinner with a person who has died, who would it be? Napoleon. Born in Corsica, he was in fact Italian, which is why he was able to conquer most of the civilized world. No Frenchman could do this.

When you pig out what do you eat?  Pizza. Pizza is like sex. Even when it’s bad it’s still pretty good ( Stone’s Rules) All pizza is good when it’s 3am and you’re high.

Stone reveals a secret about himself he says few know…

What is your absolute favorite item of clothing in your closet? We want the fabric, the brand, the store and the price if possible. If it’s a certain kind of underwear we don’t want to know about it. A  gray nail-head double breasted custom made English suit from Anderson and Sheppard of Savile Row., now actually Old Burlington St.  It’s so dashingly cut I feel like Douglas Fairbanks, Jr.

Pick one: Mad Men, Scandal or Homeland.  Mad Men. The clothes are pure Ivy  League. They reek of bay rum, G and T’s, cigarette smoke. Boardwalk Empire better than either.  Depiction of Atlantic City in 1920s, superb.  Costuming extraordinary and accurate.

Have you ever had a tarot card reading? Yes. My mother , part Hungarian and very superstitious paid for it—10 years old—told me I would meet a leader who would change my life (Nixon).

Have you ever had a near-death experience? No, but a last minute meeting with me caused Donald Trump to miss his Scheduled Chopper and a Helicopter crash in which he would have met a fiery death.

Ever been arrested?  Amazingly , No.

Tell us a secret not many people know about you. Porn queen Nina Hartley once told me I was too big and it hurt.

What scares you? Islamic extremist maniacs with nuclear weapons

What’s your most embarrassing career moment? When Bill Maher talked about my wife and I as swingers on Politically Incorrect.

Have you ever been fired?  Yeah.

When and why did you last laugh so hard you had tears in your eyes? When Eliot Spitzer went down. He was a sanctimonious phony. He pushed for harsher penalties for guys busted for visiting call girls while he was doing so as attorney general and governor. Prostitution should be legal.  It’s the hypocrisy of the Sheriff of Wall Street a.k.a. Client #9 as well as the black socks in the boudoir.

When and why did you last lose your temper? I will punch you in the nose for asking a dumb-ass question like that.

Breakfast cereal of choice: Don’t eat cereal. Egg-whites with Spinach Mushrooms brown rice, splash of salsa.

Who would you want to play you in a movie?  Today? James Woods. Thirty years ago? Joseph Gordon Leavitt.

Hotel you stay at when you visit Manhattan:  The Carlyle. Bobby Short used to play piano in the Café.  JFK used it for his trysts.

From TMZ Founder Harvey Levin: You are about to be served your last meal. What will it be?  Spaghetti and meatballs followed by Spaghetti and meatballs.

From Maynard Institute’s diversity news reporter Richard Prince: Best time you ever had with your clothes on?  I would have to admit the best times I’ve had is with my clothes off. I am tri-sexual. I’ve tried everything. (Rimshot)

From Boston Globe’s Bobby Caina Calvan:  “If you could take something to the grave  (and afterlife) with you, what would it be?” An English cut double-breasted Savile Row suit. That way I’m dressed appropriately for anything.

Finally, please come up for a question for our next FishbowlDC interviewee. This one may live on indefinitely. Make it good. Do you wear all synthetic fabrics?