Tell Us How You Really Feel

Washington Post‘s John Kelly has a bone to pick: “Why is it that TV reporters like to say, ‘We can tell you . . .’? The Channel 5 guys are the worst:”

“We can tell you a tornado destroyed the balloon factory.”

“We can tell you the robber was wearing full Kabuki makeup and carrying a long-haired dachshund.”

“It’s like they think they’re letting us in on a little secret. Oooooo, they can tell us something.”

“But isn’t that their job? To tell us something? Why make such a big deal out of it? Instead of saying, ‘We can tell you the police believe the assailant used a frozen kielbasa to bludgeon the victim,’ why don’t they just say, ‘Police believe the assailant used a frozen kielbasa to bludgeon the victim’?

“The fact that they are telling us sort of implies that they can tell us. And if there’s something they can’t tell us, why not?”

Well we can tell you that we’re curious about how big a role frozen kielbasas play in D.C.’s crime rate. Is this something that should concern us?