Starbucks’ New Logo Offends Godly People with Its Shameless Nudity

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To finish the day up for this writer, before he prepares to rocket his way out to join forces with Stephanie and hopefully get to meet a few of you out in New York, we thought we’d go for a fun bit of stupidity with this story: “Group Finds Starbucks Logo Too Hot to Handle.” It’s a story coming out of San Diego, wherein a Christian group is upset over the coffee chain’s new throwback logo, which features, gasp, a tiny image of a topless mermaid. Apparently, the bus to go protest the gay marriage legalization must’ve been full, so this group decided to go after the second biggest thing that makes them so angry they just want to spit and say “Heck!” But, in their defense, do we really want our children, when they’re off buying their daily $8 mocha lattes after school, being titillated by disrobed merpeople? Call us old-fashioned, but when we look at branding icons, we want them civilized and clothed! Go back to your wicked sea kingdom, Starbucks!