Sean Parker’s Not-So-Sacred Vanity Affair

Sean Parker is trolling the internet and he's doing a very good job. Just when the waves of criticism from his behemoth essay have died down, we get a slideshow of wedding photos complete with bunnies and fur covered beds.

This was supposed to be the most intimate, sacred, precious and romantic event of our lives: our wedding day. – Sean Parker

Sean Parker is trolling the internet and he’s doing a very good job. Just when the waves of criticism from his behemoth essay have died down, we get a slideshow of wedding photos complete with bunnies and fur covered beds. It’s the worst kind of visual agony: cute animals and their lifeless fur. I’m not going to get all PETA on you – I’m just pointing out an obvious theme for the sick kind of irony Sean Parker likes to dish out. After watching Sean unite with his love in an “enchanted forest” wedding, guests watched the Red Wedding on an inflatable screen the evening after the wedding. Charming.

Weddings Used to be Sacred and Other Lessons About Internet Journalism – Sean Parker

If there is one thing that is considered sacred on the internet, it’s free speech and not some billionaire’s wedding. Free speech is Constitutionally protected, weddings and marriages are not. In fact, it’s rather graceless to boast about your inalienable rights to have a private celebration of love when others cannot. Further, there are people on Twitter getting rape threats. I think Sean Parker’s wedding can survive the criticism.

We didn’t court attention — quite the opposite, we asked guests to check their cell phones and cameras at the door and we didn’t sell our photos to tabloids. – Sean Parker

Technically, Sean Parker didn’t sell his photos to Vanity Fair so that millions of people can consume them for the sake of sacred. He just invited Vanity Fair photographers to his wedding who then documented it and shared it on the internet.  Weddings are intimate. That’s why people invite friends and family – not celebrities, bunnies, and Vanity Fair photographers, celebrities, and bunnies.

I believe in everything; nothing is sacred. I believe in nothing; everything is sacred. – Tom Robbins

Just to demonstrate the sacred print media that Sean Parker ostensibly believes in, I’ve pulled a selection of not so sacred covers from Vanity Fair – the same magazine that Sean Parker chose to share his private wedding event.

Princess Diana’s private love story was sacred. Ironically, she died in a car crash caused by the media frenzy that made her life devoid of privacy.

Marilyn also suffered from the media hysteria. Now that she is dead, the media will drag out her sacred, private diaries.

Jackie’s cover story was about her sacred, private loneliness, despite having the media constantly watching her every move.

Sean Parker and Paris Hilton got famous thanks to the sacred internet.

Tiger Woods demonstrating marital sacredness.

If I surround my self with positive things
I’ll gain prosperity – Destiny’s Child

Now that I’m done with tabloid demonstrations, I would like to dedicate this Destiny’s Child song to Sean Parker, who will no doubt overcome all of the media bullies that have made his post-nuptial nights a complete mess. Unlike Sean Parker, Destiny’s Child made an awesome song about negative gossip from radio commentaries. Maybe if Sean Parker made a great R&B album or a new web/media app that can help internet journalists be less hateful, we would be applauding and/or dancing.