Scooter? Ew, I'd rather not.

Ew. In addition to being a perjurous justice-obstructing war-mongering Cheney-loving Plame-smearing guy named for a Muppet, apparently I. Lewis Scooter Libby is also kinda skeevy. In addition to trying to cajole Maureen Dowd to do tequila shots with him at the 2003 White House Correspondent’s Dinner after-party (let’s face it, people, today Maureen Dowd IS the news), apparently Scooter has a fairly spicy novel to his credit.

The Apprentice,” Libby’s 1996 story of Setsuo, a young virgin apprentice at a remote mountain inn in early 20th-century Japan not only tells the story of his romantic awakening by the beautiful Yukiko, but according to the New Yorker‘s Lauren Collins, also contains salacious details of coupling, quivering, and deliberating on whether to have sex with a deer (Collins: “the answer, dear reader, is yes.”)

The

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